I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize