ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
