You're my little dorito
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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