I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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