Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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