Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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