just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
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