3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
