Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
