Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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