Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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