Cold hands, warm shart.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
