If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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