what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
