I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Randomize
