Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
