I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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