Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I love having hate sex.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
