What a fucking waste of an outfit
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize