WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
