Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(402): View more from Nebraska

Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.

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(402): Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for. http://tfl.nu/14r7

Replies (8) Good night (922) Bad night (3748)
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(541): View more from Oregon

You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining

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(541): You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining http://tfl.nu/2n0l

Replies (11) Good night (6160) Bad night (1186)
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(281): View more from Texas

He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.

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(281): He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back. http://tfl.nu/ko52

Replies (13) Good night (6029) Bad night (1104)
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(813): View more from Florida

the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'

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(813): the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive' http://tfl.nu/7wwl

Replies (3) Good night (831) Bad night (2690)
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(920): View more from Wisconsin

It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo

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(920): It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo http://tfl.nu/s2q1

Replies (2) Good night (1224) Bad night (895)
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(731): View more from Tennessee

Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.

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(731): Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you. http://tfl.nu/9eaj

Replies (8) Good night (2724) Bad night (970)
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(618): View more from Illinois

I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.

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(618): I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up. http://tfl.nu/sv5z

Replies (4) Good night (1796) Bad night (1466)
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(607): View more from New York

Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.

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(607): Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan. http://tfl.nu/ogj8

Replies (0) Good night (999) Bad night (577)
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(908): View more from New Jersey

When / where did the additional couches appear?

(732): View more from New Jersey

Additional?

(908): View more from New Jersey

James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.

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(908): When / where did the additional couches appear? (732): Additional? (908): James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up. http://tfl.nu/kn0g

Replies (3) Good night (1105) Bad night (476)
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(218): View more from Minnesota

There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.

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(218): There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon. http://tfl.nu/foxi

Replies (5) Good night (1680) Bad night (511)
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(360): View more from Washington

I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.

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(360): I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise. http://tfl.nu/2iu1

Replies (7) Good night (1734) Bad night (508)
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(818): View more from California

The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.

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(818): The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink. http://tfl.nu/7x1a

Replies (2) Good night (421) Bad night (838)
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(240): View more from Maryland

You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)

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(240): You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right) http://tfl.nu/pdep

Replies (1) Good night (653) Bad night (360)
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(613): View more from Ontario

Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?

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(613): Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates? http://tfl.nu/iv63

Replies (3) Good night (666) Bad night (453)
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(+66): View more from Thailand

The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"

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(+66): The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?" http://tfl.nu/bzhn

Replies (0) Good night (652) Bad night (435)

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