Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Guys Hate When Girls Do These 29 Cringeworthy Things
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
25 Men Confess The Moment They Knew They Wanted To Marry Their Wife
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
