we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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