Texts From Last Night

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  (678): View more from Georgia

  I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.

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  (678): I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes. http://tfl.nu/k74c
  Replies (75) Good night (1037) Bad night (15502)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.

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  (815): I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos. http://tfl.nu/se3d
  Replies (10) Good night (5321) Bad night (1046)
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  (623): View more from Arizona

  she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.

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  (623): she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five. http://tfl.nu/kcej
  Replies (22) Good night (4573) Bad night (1161)
• Favorite

  (806): View more from Texas

  A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...

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  (806): A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal" (501): Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him... http://tfl.nu/wsps
  Replies (15) Good night (6166) Bad night (955)
• Favorite

  (573): View more from Missouri

  We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.

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  (573): We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old. http://tfl.nu/bm7p
  Replies (5) Good night (1831) Bad night (1092)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool

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  (817): Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool http://tfl.nu/oo5b
  Replies (5) Good night (1056) Bad night (2580)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy

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  (609): Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy http://tfl.nu/d1ob
  Replies (7) Good night (1903) Bad night (797)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Why didn't I see you last night!?

  (1-203): View more from Connecticut

  We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.

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  (203): Why didn't I see you last night!? (1-203): We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you. http://tfl.nu/iqgq
  Replies (6) Good night (5288) Bad night (772)
• Favorite

  (903): View more from Texas

  I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...

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  (903): I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair... http://tfl.nu/9cft
  Replies (17) Good night (1081) Bad night (2105)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else

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  (516): The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else http://tfl.nu/g6mk
  Replies (9) Good night (1265) Bad night (963)
• Favorite

  (+49): View more from Germany

  Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?

  (913): View more from Kansas

  DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE

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  (+49): Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in? (913): DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE http://tfl.nu/84k7
  Replies (3) Good night (1079) Bad night (314)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?

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  (804): Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics? http://tfl.nu/u5k0
  Replies (2) Good night (430) Bad night (576)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?

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  (630): Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids? http://tfl.nu/4q99
  Replies (4) Good night (642) Bad night (320)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.

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  (619): A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions. http://tfl.nu/3eld
  Replies (0) Good night (394) Bad night (296)
• Favorite

  (323): View more from California

  The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"

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  (323): The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role" http://tfl.nu/uhmh
  Replies (1) Good night (597) Bad night (184)

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