Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I look excited, but its just a facade.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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