Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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