A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
