Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Randomize
