tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
wakey wakey hands off snakey
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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