everyone is single if you try hard enough
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
