just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
