You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
