im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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