My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
