Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Randomize
