You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
only if we run a train.
done.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
