at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
