A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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