I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
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Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
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and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
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