then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
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