so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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