I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
