well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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