what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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