Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
