yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
