I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
