he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Randomize
