And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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