Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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