you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
