Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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