I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
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I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
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Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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