sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
