That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
