Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
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