Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
