i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
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I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
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I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
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