So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
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