the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
