Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Randomize
