That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize